✍️ Last Updated: October 21, 2025

Hey there! I'm Xiaochang 🌭
It's time for my weekly letter to grow a little together with you!

💭 Reflections on Life's Big Matters

Today's Gut Talk Newsletter might be different from my usual content, filled with various emotions—some written during times when I felt quite down—but ultimately compiled when my emotions were relatively stable. I hope these reflections can offer you a little bit of help.

Am I a good person or a bad person?

Recently, some things happened that really have tormented me, allowing me to learn countless life lessons at once. I've grown closer to some people and drifted further from others—it's quite interesting. When things happen, they act like a litmus test for relationships, revealing which friends and family members deserve deeper connections.

As the "Letter to the Prince of Liang from Prison" says: "Some people remain strangers even when grey-haired, while others become lifelong friends upon first meeting"—that's the idea here.

In truth, it's impossible to be the "good person" in everyone's story. In your story, Xiaochang might be the teacher who taught you Knowledge Management, showed you how to use Heptabase, and provided value in your learning journey. But in some people's stories, I might be the villain who hurt them. So I've learned that what matters most is to continuously contribute within the scope of my abilities—just as I've always been doing.

Personal Brand/Persona

I've discovered that I genuinely enjoy displaying my authentic self to others—the same at home as at work—without attempting to hide any flaws or strengths. I'm comfortable showing myself to the world. But this approach has cost me dearly. After all, when I present my real self to others, I'm essentially announcing that anyone can touch the most vulnerable core of my heart. The inevitable side effect is that I'm easily hurt, trampled on, and my boundaries are disregarded.

I used to wonder why I needed to wear so many masks to face the world. Couldn't I approach life with the same simplicity I had in elementary school—driven only by the desire to play, compete for the monkey bars, and claim the playground equipment? Now I realize that "a personal brand is actually a very useful tool." It allows me to gain the respect and presence I want. To some degree, persona and masks are forms of self-protection, not insincerity.

So I've taken time to reflect carefully on what kind of "persona" I want to present to my readers, to you, and to people I'll meet in the future. What I aspire to embody is sincerity, simplicity, yet with principles.

Careful in speech and conduct

Most people who meet me in person would describe me as "naive"—as if I've never ventured into society and have been overly protected. This is a double-edged sword, and the darker side was fully exposed in recent events. For example, when someone asked for my opinion of another person, I responded like an unconscious automaton, blurting out my subjective assessment without considering the context (a multi-person paid community). Someone with ulterior motives then took screenshots and circulated them, meaning others could only interpret them out of context and reach conclusions that broke my heart.

So is the person who shared the screenshots wrong, or am I? There's no way to judge anymore. All I can do is pay more attention to my behavior and word choice. Going forward, I will refrain from giving opinions when asked to evaluate anyone, and I'll work to protect my privacy—something I never prioritized before. But one stumble has taught me everything.

I never thought I'd search for keywords like "public figures' issues". In the past, I was decisive, taking the lead to advocate for what I believed in (I even organized a class to remove a lazy teacher's course). I paid the price for it, but back then I was nobody. Now that many eyes are watching—followers, competitors, random netizens—the things I've said and done don't just ripple in place anymore. They create waves. The costs are far greater, and mistakes are magnified to unimaginable pressure.

I can hardly imagine how those internet celebrities who faced trolls, cyberbullying, and scandals survived. I also realized I once unknowingly played a similar rebellious role. Only when the positions are reversed can you truly empathize with what these people feel.

This incident could be one of life's greatest crises. The last one was meeting a PUA mentor who reshaped me for a year and a half. My mind was fundamentally transformed in many ways, but some aspects still haven't refined enough. Learning to be a better person is lifelong.

Maybe it's a New Year's gift—teaching me to become a better person. I'm grateful for everything that happened. In life, I keep practicing gratitude, appreciation, and sincere apology.

Can never see the complete picture

When I was researching the Xiaobao Lan unsolved case, I found that every news outlet reported different dates, years, and even character names. You'd never know which information was correct without putting in enormous effort—like a detective—piecing together relationship diagrams, event timelines, and cross-referencing witness statements, even meeting the parties involved. You still can't grasp the full picture.

When anything happens, A's explanation, B's public information, C's version and statement—these are just versions reported by different news outlets. Which should be the main reference? The one with greater influence? The one without powerful backing? The one with minimal explanation? They could all be true. For any situation, you can only gather and compare information to reach your own conclusion.

This shows that any event can be interpreted in multiple ways. Going forward, I need to be more careful and try harder to understand all witness accounts and both parties' positions and actions. Otherwise, it's easy to become an influenced audience member.

Learned so much, here's a summary

1. When you don't know your future trajectory, when you're just a consumer, you should guard your words. Even if you love and criticize simultaneously, others won't understand you. It's like when you're only an NBA viewer criticizing players—if one day you become a player, possibly even a teammate of someone you criticized, all your past statements become incredibly influential. You must be mindful from now on.
2. Timing is crucial. If you don't handle communication timing well, it leaves a terrible impression and you might miss the best opportunity. I really need to pay more attention to this sense of timing. Time management is definitely my weak point.
3. Influence is both fascinating and terrifying. I'm still so naive and immature, living in an optimistic bubble. When things happen, I freeze completely. At that point, even sincere effort might not help. Only those who've met or interacted with me know the whole picture. Words and stories told by others can't penetrate the heart.
4. If I've done wrong and apologized sincerely, the ideal outcome is forgiveness. If not, I'll bear the consequences.

🌞 Sunlight welcomes nightfall

Everyone says I'm like a little sun—brightening them, bringing warmth, inspiring people to action. But when facing major life events, my emotions become very unstable—sensitive, fragile, misinterpreting those who care about me, even repeatedly reviewing conversations, trying to sense what the other person really meant. My entire heart becomes focused on how others perceive me, rather than how I can navigate the crisis.

I initially thought: if long-term friends want to enjoy my strengths, they must also accept my weaknesses. Marilyn Monroe once said, "If you can't accept the worst of me, you don't deserve the best of me." But after reflection, I thought—why force it on each other?

Everyone's flaws are like countless stars in the sky. As long as your strengths—like the sun—rise, those flaws temporarily fade. Long-term companionship is simply passing through the days in the alternation of night and day. Everyone is the same, not just me.

Honestly, I've been meditating in a cave for a long time. Coming out to explore, I've hit many obstacles. This boss-level challenge nearly defeated me—my HP dropped below 10%. I just wanted to forgive myself, lie in my nest, and zone out. I initially wanted to tell some people I might focus on self-care for a while since I ran a fever too. I wanted to shift to a different mode for Q1: low-key creating, passive socializing, focusing on myself—temporarily unable to be a little sun. But then I realized I don't need to over-explain myself to the world.

💭 Success depends on human effort; results only become visible when effort is made

After lying still for several days, I decided to use action to change my life. Only personal effort yields good results. Staying negative definitely won't help.

"Maybe I'm just stubborn. Even if the path ahead leads to destruction, with this temperament, I'm willing to try. If I hadn't, how could I be who I am today?"
"How could someone like me expect others to find me a way? I can only find my own path forward."
— Pearl Curtain Jade Screen, Episode 32

📣 This Week's Heart-Warming Share

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💬 One sentence per week #Gut Talk Wisdom

Clouds Cannot Block the Sunlight

I hope this newsletter helps you learn something, feel more connected to the world, and grow a little!
If you have any feedback, suggestions, thoughts to share, or recommendations for me, please reply to this email. I'll respond to you thoughtfully.

See you next week in "Gut Talk Newsletter" again~ 😘
by KnowledgeGutfounder Xiaochang

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Xiaochang is meticulous about typography; if you spot typos or formatting issues, please reach out to Xiaochang's IG Contact! All articles come from Heptabase Xiaochang's Second Brain🧠 Content is purely human-written, never AI-generated.

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by Knowledge Management Mentor Xiaochang🌭