That Useless Version of Myself

At 18, I made the decision to take a leave of absence from university. Not because of any grand dream, but becauseI didn't like being told what to learn。

For nearly the next two years, I did almost one thing—play League of Legends. My weight skyrocketed to its peak, and my family labeled me as 'fat, ugly, and stupid,' 'a failure.'

To be honest, that period was the most useless time of my life. My heart was filled with inferiority, and I felt like I was nothing.

An Unexpected Awakening

The beginning of my transformation was the end of a relationship.

The day after the breakup, I met with a friend to talk about 'I'm going to change.' Without hesitation, I started a business right away—creating the 'Life Exit' event brand. I started prioritizing health, going to the gym, trying to read, and attempting to acknowledge my own inferiority.

Starting as a junior salesman with a bottom-tier salary, I learned frantically, all toprove to my family that I wasn't the failure of a girl they said I was。

The Trap

A year into my entrepreneurship, I met a highly respected life mentor. He was incredibly intelligent. To learn from him, I gave up my thriving Life Exit brand and entered an 18-month 'intensive training program.'

Daily schedule: 4 hours of foundational skills training, 2 hours of business studies, 4 hours of self-study. Sounds fulfilling, right?

But his management style was to apply daily pressure and deny that I did well enough. He said, 'IQ cannot be improved—you are a low-IQ person who can only keep up through effort.' He demanded I kneel for an hour and a half, leaving my knees swollen and bruised. He demanded I write a letter of repentance. He completely isolated me from my friends, and I barely left home for eighteen months.

The result: I gained 15 kilograms rapidly and experienced hair loss. I use the Seven Wounds Fist from The Heaven Sword and Dragon Saber to describe those days——Destroy the enemy a thousand, but harm yourself eight hundred。

Finding Answers in the Sea of Books

After leaving my mentor, I started Learning for myself. I fell in love with 'organization and organizing studies'—the kind of knowledge that doesn't serve ambition at all.

Then I transferred the ability to 'organize physical spaces' to 'organizing digital knowledge.' Starting with Notion, I watched all Asian and international Notion tutorials, and rewatched paid courses over 30 times.

Until I discovered Heptabase, everything changed.

Now I use Heptabase to organize over 1,000 knowledge cards covering social media, business models, psychology, investment and finance... All that knowledge that once gave me headaches is now crystal clear on the whiteboard.

From Learner to Teacher

One day I realized that those Knowledge Management methods that changed my life could actually be taught to many more people.

I went from being 'a girl who hated Learning and looked down on herself' to becoming 'a knowledge-focused content creator who loves absorbing and outputs effectively.' I started sharing authentically on Threads—not learning tricks, not chasing algorithms—just continuously expressing what's on my mind.

Then I launched a course and wrote the newsletter 'Gut Talk Newsletter,' documenting this journey of growth in the most authentic way.